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Oldwoman's blog "Kiss me? No thanks! " (19 May 2019)

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My man lodger finally left today. Took all his stuff and went for good. He speaks English very badly, one word at a time and pausing between words while he thinks what comes next. He makes various noises between words with the effort of it - eh, hm, ahm, err and so on. It's slow and painful trying to speak with him.

Today he said to me, "I give you kiss before I go". I didn't think anything of it, thinking he was going to give me a peck on the cheek. A normal social kiss.

When he realised I was expecting him to kiss me, panic spread over his face. "No no no", he said, "I am very sorry, I give you keess!" With that he gave me the keys.

I know I shouldn't laugh at people trying to speak the language and I was very good. I hardly smiled at all. Not until he left. After he left I fell about laughing, mainly because of his panicked expression at the thought of having to kiss me.

#2124 94 days ago
😂
  94 days ago 
It must have been a very funny situation (for you). But the poor guy - English is much easier to read and write than to speak - the pronunciation is a catastrophe, not to mention accents...I know it very well from my own exprience
  94 days ago 
I think he was embarrassed at the misunderstanding, Barbara.
  94 days ago 
Of course, but this misunderstanding was caused by his faulty pronunciation. Vowels are difficult in many languages. for several nationalities.(us included!)
  94 days ago 
Weirdo magnet working overtime I see....
  94 days ago 
I admit that reading your blog I laughed too . I should rent at home ...... you would be dead laughing for the 2 or 3 words that I speak English .
  94 days ago 
The lodgers do provide me with entertainment, Christine, that's true.
  94 days ago 
I can imagine this funny situation. If I was there with you, I would burst in laugh. Actually it is a good example for school children when they learn pronunciation.
  94 days ago 

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  94 days ago 
That's exactly what it is like here, Carol.
  94 days ago 
  94 days ago 
Yes, Biruta, it would be a good example for the classroom.
  94 days ago 
Hahaha! May I use it too for my Speech and drama class as an example?
  94 days ago 
Certainly. Violeta
  94 days ago 
so ... he was afraid he had a chance to see his girlfriend. It would be difficult to explain.
  94 days ago 
Oh that is so funny.It's made my day. But I shouldn't laugh. Those of us, like myself, whose first Language is English & don't speak any other, don't realize how hard it must be to learn "our" native tongue. So many words sound the same, but mean something else & the spelling is different. Poor man, his face must have turned red. xx
  94 days ago 
Haha , so funny Marta , Now you will have fun and games with your new lodger xxx
  94 days ago 
Lol. Hahaha. He murdered the English language.
  93 days ago 
I just love your lodger stories..so funny
  92 days ago 
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